Someone was recently telling her friends about a website to which I introduced her that deals with sex-related topics from a Christian perspective. The conversation went something like this:
“It has lots of great information on how to have great Christian… marriages.”
Laughter.
“What?”
“I thought you were going to say great Christian sex.”
More laughter.
I’m sorry, but I still don’t see why this is funny.
Why can’t the terms “Christian” and “great sex” be used together? After all, shouldn’t sex within the bounds God designed be the best sex there is?
Think about it: two people, wholly committed, completely unashamed, selflessly giving of themselves for the pleasure of each other with no guilt, games, or strings attached. Doesn’t that sound great? If we’re walking by the Spirit in our marriages, that’s exactly what we get.
I greatly appreciate ministries like The Marriage Bed and blogs like Hot, Holy, & Humorous. (Married couples, follow them on Twitter for great marriage-building posts and retweets.) Their posts are edifying and biblical, and they lead to great conversations and great Christian sex–don’t laugh.
In a culture where sexual awareness comes at an incredibly early age and ungodly ideas about sex are impressed upon the minds of children and teens (and even adults!) through every media form available, I think we would do well to talk more about how great sex is–sex the way God designed it to be. Godly, Christian sex can still have the “wow” factor the world portrays, and be just as fun and exciting, but without all the baggage. Where’s the shame in that?
As a little aside, in my chronological Bible reading plan, I had to read the whole Song of Songs in one day. Talk about some explicit reading material! It is my understanding that if the original Hebrew were fully spelled out in plain English, it could not be read aloud over the radio in the U.S. for its graphic imagery. The Song celebrates the God-designed pleasures of sexual intimacy!
So why aren’t we Christians more open about how great sex really is and what a gift from God it is for our marriages? Sex by God’s design should be more appealing than what the world has to offer–the holiness of our marriages and the purity of those coming behind us depend on it.
5 comments
Phill Lytle says:
Aug 4, 2011
Thanks for being brave enough to post this. This is something that the church rarely, if ever, talks about – to our detriment. Too many Christians have a very skewed and even unhealthy view of sex.
RACHEL says:
Aug 5, 2011
I appreciate the encouragement! There is certainly no lack of Scripture on the subject. If we’re going to teach the whole Bible, we need to give due attention to what God’s Word says about sex! I’m hoping to follow up with future posts on the topic, possibly with a guest writer or two.
Alan says:
Aug 8, 2011
My wife and I read Tim Lahaye’s book on sex in marriage before we got married, and to answer the question you asked at the end, I think the reason Christians aren’t shouting from the roof tops about sex in the bounds of marriage is because they might be struggling with it in their own marriages. Lahaye believes that the stigma about sex is the reason a lot of Christians are just keeping their head above water in this area of their marriages. It will take a lot of great role models not ashamed to talk about it in order to turn the tide. Also, we can’t ignore the fact that the world has ruined it for us. It’s misused so badly anymore that the stigma is hard to shake. But the Holy Spirit is as functional and effective in transforming this area of life as he is any other, and we need to rely on Him there too.
RACHEL says:
Aug 8, 2011
LaHaye’s book is an excellent one. My mom (who had open conversations with me on the subject) was kind enough to give us a copy of LaHaye’s book to read just before we married. We also read a couple books by Kevin Lehman that proved helpful early on. I am so grateful to have been given a positive, biblical view of sex. From what I’ve read, we who enjoy a great sexual relationship within marriage are an extremely small percentage. That breaks my heart because God has given us this good thing for both our pleasure and our protection. With such strong emphasis on perverted sex in the world, I’m convinced that we need to be louder about the goodness and holiness of sex the way God designed it. ‘Cause it’s way better!
RACHEL says:
Aug 8, 2011
Also, I meant to comment on the Holy Spirit’s role. You are absolutely right on the money. We cannot underestimate His role in all this! I had a post on just that topic brewing a while back… Maybe I’ll revisit it.
Thanks!